Big one, Eighty one

The enxiety level increased as the Board result was around the corner. We were all waiting for the big announcement. Today we are relaxed as Jennie scored big.

Jennie wasn’t doing too well in her studies since she was in class 8 and we had the reason to be concerned, if not worry. She was stopped in class 9 as her score was poor. Things changed for her as she was promoted at the end of two years. Board exam in class 10 was something we dreaded. When Jennie came back after every paper during examination I would ask her how she did. She would reply “it was good.”

When you fail once, it’s nothing to worry about. I had been motivating her to give her best and must go out there without losing any enthusiasm. Today is one of the happiest days of my life. With 81.6% it’s a proof that anyone can try and bounce back. I feel I have achieved something in a long long time. Proud of you Jen!

Have a goal, have a life

I asked our school gardener how was it going working at 44 degrees heat, he said he’s excited about the evening. I asked him why and he said he’s going to have a nice drink with dinner.

Goal is so important. Goal keeps you alert and happy. Goal could be anything from waiting to see a movie at the end of the day, having a nice dinner with the family, meeting your best friend after a long time or catching up with someone for coffee. Goal is something to look forward to. When you have something good to look forward to work isn’t drugdery. You are happy to finish the work and do what you have thought of doing. The gardener had a goal – to have a nice time in the evening.

We are driven mostly by goals, both little and big. It’s always nice to look forward for something amazing for tomorrow. Our today is well lived when we think well of our tomorrow.

Speechless Empathy

I saw a great illustration of empathy the other day, and in a place where I didn’t expect – at a movie theatre We all stood for the national anthem that’s played before the beginning of the movie.

They played the anthem video where hearing & speech impaired children are singing the national anthem. I wondered why. Then I looked back and there was one little girl who was hearing and speech impaired. I could then make a connection as to why that video was played. That’s a perfect example of empathy and taking care of the least . The Parable of the lost sheep also deals with this idea. That one little child was important. She had to understand what was sung.

I was amazed by what the staff of that movie theatre did. They are trained to be empathetic. I wish all people show that kind of empathy in their most important ongoing movie called LIFE!

Slavery is dead. Long live slavery

Mental torture by employers is the new form of slavery. I fail to understand why employers think they are God’s gift on earth? That they exist so we exist too? I have been listening to tales of frustration from my colleagues and I feel it’s unfairness that’s rampant.

William Wilberforce and Abraham Lincoln might have fought to end slavery and the form that existed then. But the idea of slavery never went away. Today in modern times there is different form of slavery. Humans are made to work at night because some people in this world cannot wait. Everything has to happen instantly. Employers think that just because they are paying, they can say anything and everything. Employees are hired because of certain expertise. Employers should think that they are previledged to have experts working with them, that they have been more fortunate than others, that employees are as much humans as they are.

Slavery is long dead but the idea still is practiced in different forms. Employers pay money to employees because they need their expertise. They are not paid for nothing. They deserve it.

Killing them softly

Jennie got an opportunity to speak on a particular topic. She asked me what subject to speak on. I told her to speak on female feoticide and so she started preparing for her first speech. We discussed one point that I had mentioned – tradition connected to religion and faith. She asked me how can this change?

Religious leaders can influence people more than education. If they say a particular thing is right, people believe. Most of the age-old rituals practiced in societies around the world were introduced by religious leaders thousands of years ago. They have never been questioned. If social evil can be taught through religious teachers and not through education it might work. In India the belief is that a son must be born in a family because only he can prepare the way of salvation when parents die. Only a son can do the last rites. This is why female feoticide is so rampant in some Indian societies. This opens up other problems too – disbalanced sex ratio, rape, abuse and so on.

Paradigm shift is a tough call specially when it comes to faith. People have blind faith and they just don’t want to apply their mind. I am appalled by the fact that even educated people fall into the trap. The whole idea of looking at things must change in order for change to happen.

Get busy living

“Get busy living or get busy dying.” This is a line from the movie Shawshank Redemption. The recent Bollywood hit 102 Not Out is saying the same thing is a different way.

The veteran actors Amitabh Bachchan and Rishi Kapoor have bowled over the movie goers with their superb acting. But more than their acting, the idea of ‘living’ is portrayed so well. Amitabh at one point says with a lot of humour, that he never died in his entire life. He says as long as you are alive don’t die. His son of 75 years is afraid of living as much as of dying. He gets his BP and blood sugar checked everyday. He takes shower for less than 15 minutes because he will catch cold otherwise. He doesn’t listen to music, doesn’t go out, doesn’t even smile. Basically he’s just waiting for his death. Have you come across such people?

The spirit of living every moment is the key. We don’t live in a perfect world and we shouldn’t expect either. We can imagine and dream of a world for us. Every living moment is precious and worth savouring. Worrying about tomorrow doesn’t help.

Mother

Mother – the word instantly brings up the feeling of compassion, care and love. It’s a miracle word. It’s a famine word for hero(traditionally hero was used only for male). She is the spine of a family. Nobody can love like a mother. She’s a doctor when you are sick, a night guard for the baby, a knight who protects her child, a teacher, guide, friend and philosopher. Before Google everyone asked stupid questions to their mother.

As we celebrate Mother’s day today, I am reminded of my mother answering every stupid questions I asked her as a child. She was patient when I didn’t do things on time, she was considerate when my father wouldn’t tolerate my nonsense, she was loving even when I was reckless and carefree.

Even today when majority of men are busy with career and jobs, mothers are at the heart of a child’s progress. She’s there to catch when the child stumbles and correct when the child is wrong. She is constantly using her staff to show the way to her child. Salute to all the mothers!

More than having a good time

It’s more than entertainment and relaxation when you go out with the family for a movie. It’s more than just a family time and social extravagance. It’s much more.

I was having a chat with my colleagues about going to movies and spending. We agreed that things have become more expensive now but also the experience of going to the movie has changed dramatically. I am of the view that we do more than spend money. We teach our children to have a good time spending money. After all we work so hard to earn. We teach them to be generous and not a miser. I have seen people who have never taken their kids to the movies or a coffee house. It’s so important to splurge sometimes. What’s the point of working so hard if you cannot enjoy the fruit of your labour?

The present generation is willing to be more generous and spend where it’s needed. No more do children keep money under the pillow and miss that fantastic movie that’s playing nearby.

Hype stronger than the storm

Two days ago there was a warning of a Super Storm in Delhi. Newspaper and TV channels kept broadcasting the official warning by the Met department. People were talking with fear and anxiety all over the city. Arrangements were made to be safe.

Everyone waited with bated breath for the storm. People scanned the news paper, got hooked to their TV sets and Social media updates. The time the storm was supposed to hit was between three and seven pm. Most schools were shut. Parents feared sending children to school, people stayed indoors and so on. But nothing happened. The Super storm was more of a hype. There was just a shower. The hype was so much that it was stronger than the storm that never came.

Fear in us is stronger than faith. We give in to the hype and fear takes over. Our life is more valuable than our fears. Reduce the fear and spend more time doing things that are worth your time.

What’s the problem?

Understanding the problem is so important to find a solution. Unless you know what’s wrong you cannot find the solution. Tone deafness is a problem many people do not understand, therefore, they are not able to sing in scale.

I am preparing a choir for the investiture ceremony and I have some children who have never been in a choir before. I know some of they are tone deaf but they aren’t able to figure out. I have been trying to explain to them to the point of frustration. Knowing what the problem is would give them the idea to find the solution, but they just can’t figure out the problem. When we tell teenagers where they are going wrong they don’t understand because they think that’s not a problem. They never identify their problems and that leads to conflict.

Knowing the problem itself also gives so much freedom. It’s like finding out the cause of an allergy. Until you know what’s it you are in the dark and it will bug you.